Coach Z
Fun Football Stuff - Page 3
There Are 5 Pages of Great, And Some Not so Great, Football Jokes
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him ... but let him ask in faith, with no doubting"      James 1:5

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Fun Football Stuff Pages   [1]   [2]   «3»   [4]   [5]

Fun Football Stuff Pages   [1]   [2]   «3»   [4]   [5]

  • When the football coach was fired a day before Christmas, he walked into the presidents office with a mistletoe hanging from his coat tail.

  • Here's a sign things may be going to far:  there's a rumor that the Professional Football Players Association is asking for Sundays off for its members.

  • Q:  What's the difference between the (insert team name) and a dollar bill?
    A:  You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

  • Q:  What do you call 47 people sitting around watching the Super Bowl?
    A:  The (insert team name).

  • After a frustrating loss, the coach was asked, "What do you think about your team's execution today?"
    "Sounds like a good idea," said the coach.  "And the sooner the better."

  • The running back knew his playing days were over when he ran an end sweep, but was penalized for delay of game.

  • He was once a football player.  He wasn't the full back.  He wasn't the running back either.  He was a drawback.

  • Our football team was so bad that we won the coin toss and elected to leave.

  • A females definition of eternity:  ETERNITY (e-ter-ni-tee) n.  The last two minutes of a football game.

  • Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.  He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.
    He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
    His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear."

  • A farmer dies and goes to hell.  While down there the devil notices the farmer is not suffering like the rest.  He checks the gauges and sees that it's 90 degrees and 80 percent humidity.  So the devil goes over to the farmer and asks why he's so happy.  The farmer says, "I like it here, the temperature is just like plowing my fields in June."
    The devil is not happy with the farmers answer, so he goes over and turns up the temperature to 100 degrees and the humidity to 90 percent.
    After turning everything up he goes looking for the farmer.  He finds him standing around just as happy as can be.  The devil quizzes the farmer again as to why he's so happy.  The farmer says, "This is even better, it's like pulling weeds in my fields in July."
    The devil, now upset, decides to really make the farmer suffer, so he turns the heat up to 120 degrees and the humidity to 100 percent.
    Once again he goes looking for the farmer, and finds him sitting on the floor - - even happier than before!  The farmer turns to the devil and says, "This is great, just like working in the silos with my friends in August."
    The devil says, "That's it, I'll get this farmer."  He goes over and turns the tempurature down to 25 degrees and sets the weather control to snow.  "Let's see what the farmer has to say about this!"
    The devil finds the farmer -- only now he's jumping up and down for joy yelling, "The (insert team name) have finally won the Super Bowl!"

  • Q:  What do you call a lineman's kids?
    A:  Chips off the old blocker.

  • Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire.  A lady is sitting on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms.
    "Hey, lady," yells Larry, "throw me the cat."
    "No," she cries, "it's to far."
    "I play football, I can catch it," Larry responds.
    The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Larry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street.  Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurling down toward him.  The feline, bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catch it.  He jumps six feet in the air and makes a spectacular one handed catch.  The crowd that has gatherd to watch the fire breaks into cheers.  Larry does a litle dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles his knees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

  • A football game was going poorly, and a man in the stands knew why.  "Look at that running back," he shouted to his family.  "He's fumbled three times and everytime the other team has recovered.  Why do they continue to let him play?"  His seven year old son looked up at him and says, "Daddy, maybe it's his football."